Week 20: more rest, more recovery

So it's another week and my lungs still feel like lead weights. 6 miles didn't come easy on Monday so sadly I agreed with Nicky that I need sleep and rest for this week and start back up next Tuesday with 10 miles.

Mentally I'm finding this difficult. I want to run, but I'm nervous too about not being able to breathe and my lungs hurting. I feel weak - and I wonder if it's the illness lingering or me getting back out of shape. This infection sucks. I should've got meds right away and taken a couple days off instead of working through it. Yes. I'm not as invincible as I'd like to pretend I am.

I think that goes for elsewhere in my life. My default is "do-it yourself" but it's not productive all the time. I need to ask for help, I need to be involved and I need to be responsive. When I get really stressed I hermit. And that doesn't help me. Time passes and then I let myself and others down.

What I need to do is book me days in and do nothing but something for me. Go see that exhibit. Lose myself in the darkness of a film during a sunny afternoon. Find an overly large chair to curl up in and enjoy a book. Dip my feet in the ocean.

I also need to give myself back my creative time. I let my writing slip when I'm stressed and busy. I've booked in running but why not writing too? I need to remember not to let go of the things I love.

So running is on hold. Resting is number one on the agenda.

And amongst all the resting, a little planning for a fundraiser for my marathon. I've been bad about mentioning it but we have been raising money for a year and a half. Will you help us hit our target? Cancer Research is a cause that helps everyone so please give a little...

Http://justgiving.com/c242k