So it's another week and my lungs still feel like lead weights. 6 miles didn't come easy on Monday so sadly I agreed with Nicky that I need sleep and rest for this week and start back up next Tuesday with 10 miles.
Mentally I'm finding this difficult. I want to run, but I'm nervous too about not being able to breathe and my lungs hurting. I feel weak - and I wonder if it's the illness lingering or me getting back out of shape. This infection sucks. I should've got meds right away and taken a couple days off instead of working through it. Yes. I'm not as invincible as I'd like to pretend I am.
I think that goes for elsewhere in my life. My default is "do-it yourself" but it's not productive all the time. I need to ask for help, I need to be involved and I need to be responsive. When I get really stressed I hermit. And that doesn't help me. Time passes and then I let myself and others down.
What I need to do is book me days in and do nothing but something for me. Go see that exhibit. Lose myself in the darkness of a film during a sunny afternoon. Find an overly large chair to curl up in and enjoy a book. Dip my feet in the ocean.
I also need to give myself back my creative time. I let my writing slip when I'm stressed and busy. I've booked in running but why not writing too? I need to remember not to let go of the things I love.
So running is on hold. Resting is number one on the agenda.
And amongst all the resting, a little planning for a fundraiser for my marathon. I've been bad about mentioning it but we have been raising money for a year and a half. Will you help us hit our target? Cancer Research is a cause that helps everyone so please give a little...
Http://justgiving.com/c242k
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Week 19: crawling back
Damn. 3 weeks since my last blog post. I suck. Actually I was sick. Not only are you not up blogging, you're actually not up for running either. Not a huge surprise there!
Soon after my longest run (and some 24 hour travel), I succumbed to a cold. Sinus infection making your teeth ache kinda cold. I kept wanting to get out there but I didn't. I couldn't.
What I did do was take lots and lots of medicine so I seemed ok but really felt a some kind of miserable, especially when I was alone.
10 days ago I thought I was well enough to get out there but could only attempt 4 miles. And it was miserable. Weak, shaky and snotty.
6 days ago, ran 4 miles in the am. It was OK. But I was wheezing and coughing.
4 days ago, I got shaky and lightheaded on a night out. Blood sugar dropped I assumed and I needed an orange juice and nuts to stop trembling.
3 days ago I turned an odd shade of green after a mile. Made it 3 before calling it.
So Nicky said I had to go to the doctor. I was pretty pissed off at my body. Not that anger at your body really helps matters.
Yesterday at the doctor I got scolded about not taking care of my asthma. As I'm an asthmatic, the cold seems to be resting in my lungs and running irritates them so it hurts to breathe and makes me feel of death.
She made me take deep breathes, put a thermometer under my tongue, and checked my blood pressure. Turns out I'm healthy other than the lingering cold. So healthy that my resting heart rate is 44. Yowzer.
Because it's that low, I don't have much of a buffer. My blood sugar drops and my body all goes out of wack. I used to get this when I was younger and lived in London. A time when I ate better and exercised more. A kind of behavior that recently returned to my life. So now I know what it was, and is, and that I must always carry snacks.
Take it easy, she told me. And fill you prescription.
Yesterday was 4.5 miles instead of 10. But we'll add another 5 miles tomorrow. And try for 10 on Saturday.
My weeks have filled with numbers. How far, how fast, how many days til the next run, how many weeks til the marathon. Nicky and I joke that if someone was chasing us, we'd be able run away at a slow and steady pace. It's something we're getting good at.
Soon after my longest run (and some 24 hour travel), I succumbed to a cold. Sinus infection making your teeth ache kinda cold. I kept wanting to get out there but I didn't. I couldn't.
What I did do was take lots and lots of medicine so I seemed ok but really felt a some kind of miserable, especially when I was alone.
10 days ago I thought I was well enough to get out there but could only attempt 4 miles. And it was miserable. Weak, shaky and snotty.
6 days ago, ran 4 miles in the am. It was OK. But I was wheezing and coughing.
4 days ago, I got shaky and lightheaded on a night out. Blood sugar dropped I assumed and I needed an orange juice and nuts to stop trembling.
3 days ago I turned an odd shade of green after a mile. Made it 3 before calling it.
So Nicky said I had to go to the doctor. I was pretty pissed off at my body. Not that anger at your body really helps matters.
Yesterday at the doctor I got scolded about not taking care of my asthma. As I'm an asthmatic, the cold seems to be resting in my lungs and running irritates them so it hurts to breathe and makes me feel of death.
She made me take deep breathes, put a thermometer under my tongue, and checked my blood pressure. Turns out I'm healthy other than the lingering cold. So healthy that my resting heart rate is 44. Yowzer.
Because it's that low, I don't have much of a buffer. My blood sugar drops and my body all goes out of wack. I used to get this when I was younger and lived in London. A time when I ate better and exercised more. A kind of behavior that recently returned to my life. So now I know what it was, and is, and that I must always carry snacks.
Take it easy, she told me. And fill you prescription.
Yesterday was 4.5 miles instead of 10. But we'll add another 5 miles tomorrow. And try for 10 on Saturday.
My weeks have filled with numbers. How far, how fast, how many days til the next run, how many weeks til the marathon. Nicky and I joke that if someone was chasing us, we'd be able run away at a slow and steady pace. It's something we're getting good at.
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